Hermione's Mistake
by Ameena Raynor
Summary: Read this if you decide that you want to be depressed... Takes place in 5th then 7th year. Read and Review, if you please! =)


AN- You know the usual… no one belongs to me. They all belong to the goddess, JKR. 

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 "Harry, I think we need to break up," I said, quietly, looking down at my shoes.  We were walking outside on the grounds. It was a dreary kind of day, cold and threatening to snow, but I had dragged him outside for a walk anyway.  

Harry didn't say anything. At first I thought he hadn't heard me.  I was about to repeat myself when I chanced a look up and saw why he wasn't answering.  He was looking at me with tears in his eyes.  I felt my own eyes watering, but I fought them back.  No way was I going to cry.  Not until I got back to the dorm anyway.  

All it took was one question.  One word. "Why?" He asked.  That did it.  The tears fell.  I flung my arms around him and sobbed.  We stood like that, in each other's arms, tears flowing freely, for what seemed like an endless amount of time.  When we separated, we were still crying softly.  I chuckled softly through the tears, wiping the large wet spots my tears had caused on his robes.  He caught my hand and held it firmly in both of his. 

"Why, Hermione?" He asked again quietly, with his startling green eyes fixed on mine, as if they were searching for the answer.

I didn't know why. _Yes you do, Hermione, a quiet voice inside my head told me.  __You're scared. It scares you how much you love him.  I mentally told the voice to shut up and looked into those green eyes again. Big mistake. The pained feelings his face betrayed almost made me fall apart again.  I looked down and recollected my composure._

"I still love you, Harry." I told him. " I just realized that I love you like I love Ron now. As a brother, and a best friend.  Nothing could ever change that." The little voice inside me screamed _Liar! But once again, I pushed it out of my mind._

Harry was silent for a long time.  We sat there, his hands still clutching mine, for over an hour.  Then he raised his head, looking defeated.

"I can't change your mind, Hermione," He said. "I've been your friend too long not to realize that.  I have also been your friend longer than I've been your boyfriend.  I don't expect us to act like we did before we were together.  But I hope that we'll still be friends."

I nodded. "I didn't want anything less."

He continued. "But don't expect me to stop loving you.  You have helped me through too much to be able to just throw those feelings away."

            And with that final note, he turned and walked up to the castle.

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_Two years later…_

He asked me to dance with him at the Yule Ball.  I thought it would be a painless dance, completely harmless.  After all, I was over him.  He was dating Ginny now, anyways.  We were just friends.  I should have known better.  He was looking too handsome in his dark green dress robes.

And his eyes never left mine as we danced.  They looked at mine as if they could see right through me, into the depths of my soul.  We spun around the great hall, attracting attention.  When we were done, several people applauded, or so Ginny told me later.  I didn't hear, because he kissed me on the cheek.  _Oh Harry, I wanted to ask __What are you doing to me? Why, all of a sudden, do I want to grab you from Ginny's arms and rekindle something that I'm not sure I should have ever put out? All I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss him, or, more precisely, be kissed by him.  I ran to my dorm before I had the chance to do anything stupid._

            After a few hours of feeling sorry for my self, I heard people stomping up the spiral staircases.  I heard the door open and shut. "Hermione?" a soft voice asked.

            "Parvati, I really don't feel like talking." I said, more curtly than I had intended.

            The curtains of my four-poster were opened, and Ginny appeared, saying in a mock hurt voice, "After 6 years of friendship, I thought you'd know my voice by now, Hermione."

            "Sorry. So what's up?" I asked, trying to push out the misery that was invaded my mind.

            "Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." She said, with a concerned frown. "Where did you go so early into the ball?"

            "Up here." I told her. "I just had something on my mind."

            "Anything you want to talk about?"

            Oh, I wish I could have talked to her about it.  But she was Harry's girlfriend now.  What was I supposed to tell her. _Yeah, sure. I'm in love with your boyfriend. She'd either laugh at me or get mad at me. _

            "No, I'm fine now." I lied. 

            "Ok…" She said, with a look that clearly said that she didn't believe me. "But if you decide you want to talk, you know where I live." She turned around and walked to the door.

            "Ginny…" I called after her. She turned around. "Come here. I do need to talk." 

            I didn't' want to tell her, but I felt I had to tell someone, or else my head would explode. She walked over to my bed and sat cross-legged facing me, an inquisitive look on her face.  I struggled to find the words to tell her.

            "Listen, Ginny," I began, "I want you to promise me that whatever I say, you will not get mad at me…" I paused. "No. You don't have to. You have every right to punch me in the face." I was really regretting starting this conversation, but now that I had said something, she wasn't going to let me stop now.

            "What has gotten you so worked up?" She asked, exasperated. "Whatever it is, I'm sure its not as big of a deal as you think it is."

            "Ginny," I took a deep breath. "I think I'm still in love with Harry." I chanced a look at her. She was staring back at me, with her mouth open, as if she wanted to say something, but her vocal chords weren't working. 

            I continued. "When I broke up with Harry, I told him that I only loved him as a friend, or a brother.  And I think at the time, I thought I did.  But now I realize that I was scared.  Harry was my first boyfriend. Well, there was Viktor, but we weren't together for as long or as serious as Harry and I.  Anyway, Harry and I were getting really close, and it scared me.  I was scared of what would happen if we got any closer."

            Ginny didn't say anything for bit, then she seemed to snap out of her trance. "So…" She said slowly, "What now? Do you want me to break up with Harry?"  I couldn't tell if she was serious or not, but I shook my head anyway.

            "I wouldn't dream of making you break up with him. For one thing, I doubt I could have made you do anything," She placed a timid smile on her face, "And for another, I'm just not the kind of girl to break up one of the happiest couples I've seen in a long time."

            The smile faltered, and she asked, "Why are you telling me this, then?"

            "I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Maybe for your protection." She got a puzzled look on her face. "Ginny, after tonight, I realized that I have almost no self control.  I'm going to need someone else to help keep me in check as far as Harry is concerned. I'm sure you wouldn't like me to lose control and kiss him, or anything."

            She nodded slowly to let me know she understood.  She turned to leave. 

            "Ginny." I called after her. She turned and faced me. "Thanks for understanding."

            "Thanks for letting me know." She replied.  Her old smile was back on her face, but it seemed slightly forced.  As I laid down to fall asleep, I couldn't help wondering if things would ever be the same between us.

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AN- (I don't know why I always have 2 ANs… habit I guess…) Anyway, this fic was largely based on two things… The first being personal experiences.  This fic was really hard to write, as it held a lot of things that pertained to my life.  The other thing this fic was based on was the country song "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This" (and forgive me, but I don't know who sings it… just know it doesn't belong to me):

_You shouldn't kiss me like this_

_Unless you mean it like that_

_Or I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at_

_We'll get lost on this dance floor_

_Spinning around, and around and around and around…_

_They're all watching us now_

_They think we're falling in love_

_They'll never believe we're just friends_

_You shouldn't kiss me like this_

_Unless you mean it like that_

_And if you do, Baby kiss me again._

(I just love that song, don't you?) Also, as long as you are reading this "insanely long" AN, I would like to do a plug for a story co-authored by me and the wonderful Ariana Black. It's called "Ways to Kill a Malfoy." So go read it, or I'll sic the dementors after you… nah, I'll sic Fluffy on you!  Just like I'll do if you don't review!


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